Friday, November 19, 2010

Let's talk about bananazzz 香蕉人

Disclaimer: You do not need to agree with my theories and I would welcome (and feel honoured) if you would like to debunk all my ideas. I got inspired my a friend, which I call him the "Absolute Banana". This idea will be discussed further in the article. :)



Definition of Banana
Banana, in general is a fruit, the yellow slimy fruit we see in tropical countries. *side track: just if you don't know, 7-eleven sells his super quality Dole Banana for RM1. It's really good fruit! :D Buy one and stay healthy peeps!* However, the banana that I'm trying to talk about is those Chinese that don't know how to speak their mother tongue. Why they're called banana? Very simple! Banana is yellow in the outside but white in the inside, just like them where they looks Chinese with their yellow skin but they talk like a white. :)

Categories of Banana people:

1. Absolute Banana
Absolute bananas are those which couldn't speak and listen to any Mandarin and dialects at all. Other than "Wo Ai Ni" [I Love You] and "Wo bu zhi dao" [I don't know], they basically knows nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! They don't watch any TVB dramas or know anything about Chinese culture. Most of the time, their parents are bananas themselves too, but most probably does not include in this category. Absolute bananas can be seen as knowing nothing about being a Chinese. There are a White-man living in a Yellow-man's body.

2. Normal Banana
Normal bananas are those that know a bit of everything. They may know how to listen to some Mandarin or any dialects. Most of these bananas went to Kebangsaan schools. So, they only know English and BM. Grandparents might only speak in dialects and aunties will be talking in dialects during family gathering such as Chinese New Year. So, throughout the years, they get a hint of what people are trying to mean out of their talking in Mandarin or dialects. Most of the bananas are in this category (I hope), so they're normal bananas.

3. Half Banana
Half bananas are those who speaks a bit of Mandarin or a bit of dialects (to some extent, fluent enough to make a conversation). Some of this type of bananas are unfortunate to get a Chinese education but still was able to learn some mother tongue throughout the years. They may not be as fluent as those learnt it properly, but they know a bit more than the other 2 categories of bananas. *applause*


So friend,
which category you belong to? I hope I didn't insult anybody. This distinction is just an analysis of mine. Some might ask, why we need Chinese when English is the international language? Yup, I agree with you that English is the most commonly spoken language. Nevertheless, I am proud to be a Chinese that speaks Mandarin, Cantonese and Hakka. I can say I'm proud to be a Chinese. I'm not saying being a banana is a sin or something, I'm just trying to define how westernised some of the Chinese are today.

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